Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper

Every man should get married some time; after

 all, happiness is not the

 only thing in life!!

 

   --Anonymous

 

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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can

have; the older she gets

the more interested he is in her.

 

 

--Agatha Christie

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair

that some men should be

happier than others.

 

--Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

 

--Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for

two years.

 

--Sam Kinison

 

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        A psychiatrist is a person who will give you

     expensive answers that your

        wife will give you for free.

 

 

        --Anonymous

 

 

 

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        Bachelors know more about women than married men;

     if they didn't, they'd

     be married too.

 

 

        --H. L. Mencken

 

 

 

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        Men have a better time than women; for one thing,

     they marry  later, for another thing, they die earlier.

 

        --H. L. Mencken

 

 

 

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        "A man without a woman is like a fish without a  bicycle."

 

 

        - U2

 

 

 

 

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        Marriage is a three ring circus:

        --engagement ring

        ---wedding ring

        ---suffering

 

 

 

 

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        When a newly married couple smiles, everyone

     knows why.

        When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone

     wonders why.

 

 

 

 

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        Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

 

 

 

 

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        When a man opens the door of his car for his

     wife, you can be sure of one

        thing: either the car is new or the wife.

 

 

 

 

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        I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding

     her way back .

        --------------------------------------------

        I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our

        anniversary?"

        She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"

        I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

        ------------------------------------------------

        We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

        ---------------------------------

        My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.  That

        was only for the

        estimate.

        --------------------------------

        She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.

        Then the mud fell off.

        ------------------------------------------

        She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I

        too late for the garbage?"

        Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"

        ---------------------------------------

        BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he refuses

        to ever get married.

        He says "the wedding rings look too much like

        minature handcuffs....."

 

 

 

 

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        If your dog is barking at the back door and your

     wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

        The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after

     you let him in!

 

 

 

 

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        A man placed some flowers on the grave of his

     dearly departed mother and

     started back toward his car when his attention

     was diverted to another man

     kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying

     with profound intensity

     and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why

     did you have to die?"

 

     The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I

     don't wish to interfere

     with

     your private grief, but this demonstration of

     pain is more than I've ever

     seen before. For whom do you mourn so

     deeply? A child? A parent?"

     The mourner took a moment to collect himself,

     then

     replied, "My wife's first husband."

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  A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband

  leaned over, made a wish

   and

   threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a

  wish, too. But she leaned

 over

  too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The

  husband was stunned for a

while but then smiled "It really works!"

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  Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he

   loves. After marriage, the

"y" becomes silent.